|
Coronavirus Covid-19, continued ... |
Adapting to social distancing may be especially tricky for extraverted people who are on the far extreme of the extravert/introvert spectrum. Extraverts get their energy and are invigorated by having dynamic lively conversations with other people. Obviously this can be very difficult to do when you are attempting to social distance. Ideally, one places oneself at least six feet away and this wider distance can feel inhibiting to spontaneous conversation.
Introverts at the other end of the extravert/introvert spectrum, may also find social distancing stressful. Without deep conversations with a few dear friends, loneliness can be experienced and really painful isolation can be felt.
Counselling can help people wherever they are on the spectrum to build up their inner and outer resources for managing the difficult circumstances resulting from Covid-19. Perhaps the one exception is the person who is sometimes labelled ‘the non-communicator.’ The people in this group really don’t like other people very much and find sociability rather a trial whether in the midst of a pandemic or not.
Whether extravert or introvert, a pandemic can leave one with a sense of loss and relentless uncertainty. This can feel like a burden and sharing these feelings with a counsellor can lighten it.
What ‘losses’ are being referred to when taking part in social distancing?
1. Loss of normal everyday activities and ways of doing things.
Where has the routine and structure gone? One may not realise just how important routine and structure are until they no longer exist in the manner one has been used to.
2. Loss of the feeling of physical safety as there are so many unexpected ways that Covid-19 can penetrate into one's life.
3. Loss of personal emotional space when one's children no longer go to school and you and your partner may be working from home. Personal boundaries may need to be re-thought.
4. Real bereavement when a parent or grandparent is killed by the virus. In such pandemics as we have seen in Italy, it is sometimes not even possible to be with one's dying parent at the time of their death.
5. Loss of job security.
While the government is and has made many promises about compensating people who have lost their jobs or been unable to work because of the impact of Covid, just what will actually happen is once again open to great uncertainty. Financial insecurity creates anxiety in everyone.
6. Loss of mental health.
With the arrival of Covid -19, there is much talk of the underlying physical conditions that trigger complications in the illness. However, there are also underlying mental health conditions which may be triggered by the additional stress and tension resulting from the illness. Both depression and anxiety may worsen or reappear requiring a person to rework some emotional understandings from the past. Low self-esteem is another condition that may be reactivated.
Introverts at the other end of the extravert/introvert spectrum, may also find social distancing stressful. Without deep conversations with a few dear friends, loneliness can be experienced and really painful isolation can be felt.
Counselling can help people wherever they are on the spectrum to build up their inner and outer resources for managing the difficult circumstances resulting from Covid-19. Perhaps the one exception is the person who is sometimes labelled ‘the non-communicator.’ The people in this group really don’t like other people very much and find sociability rather a trial whether in the midst of a pandemic or not.
Whether extravert or introvert, a pandemic can leave one with a sense of loss and relentless uncertainty. This can feel like a burden and sharing these feelings with a counsellor can lighten it.
What ‘losses’ are being referred to when taking part in social distancing?
1. Loss of normal everyday activities and ways of doing things.
Where has the routine and structure gone? One may not realise just how important routine and structure are until they no longer exist in the manner one has been used to.
2. Loss of the feeling of physical safety as there are so many unexpected ways that Covid-19 can penetrate into one's life.
3. Loss of personal emotional space when one's children no longer go to school and you and your partner may be working from home. Personal boundaries may need to be re-thought.
4. Real bereavement when a parent or grandparent is killed by the virus. In such pandemics as we have seen in Italy, it is sometimes not even possible to be with one's dying parent at the time of their death.
5. Loss of job security.
While the government is and has made many promises about compensating people who have lost their jobs or been unable to work because of the impact of Covid, just what will actually happen is once again open to great uncertainty. Financial insecurity creates anxiety in everyone.
6. Loss of mental health.
With the arrival of Covid -19, there is much talk of the underlying physical conditions that trigger complications in the illness. However, there are also underlying mental health conditions which may be triggered by the additional stress and tension resulting from the illness. Both depression and anxiety may worsen or reappear requiring a person to rework some emotional understandings from the past. Low self-esteem is another condition that may be reactivated.
7. Loss of marital equilibrium and danger of domestic violence with so much uncertainty and job insecurity around.
MORE IMPORTANTLY, couples may discover when spending so much time together for work and pleasure, that one or both of them lacks the skills required to deepen their intimacy. For example, one partner may feel deeply embarrassed when it comes to talking about anything of a sexual nature. Or they may discover that they don't know how to compromise very well with one person always seeming to get their own way all the time. Another problem that can arise is that resentments within the relationship and perhaps distrust can get in the way of honest sharing. Regardless of the specific issue, couple counselling can be a way forward to resolving conflicts of all sorts. As I have been trained by both RELATE and the TAVISTOCK, I have particular skills in this area and really enjoy working with couples.
MORE IMPORTANTLY, couples may discover when spending so much time together for work and pleasure, that one or both of them lacks the skills required to deepen their intimacy. For example, one partner may feel deeply embarrassed when it comes to talking about anything of a sexual nature. Or they may discover that they don't know how to compromise very well with one person always seeming to get their own way all the time. Another problem that can arise is that resentments within the relationship and perhaps distrust can get in the way of honest sharing. Regardless of the specific issue, couple counselling can be a way forward to resolving conflicts of all sorts. As I have been trained by both RELATE and the TAVISTOCK, I have particular skills in this area and really enjoy working with couples.
While these are all negative outcomes which may happen when the Covid-19 is around, with a growth mind-set, one can learn from all that happens. In particular, one can build up personal resources and learn about one’s personal capacity for resilience. A counsellor can help you to do this.
With all good wishes to you all as we struggle together through this period of great physical and emotional threat.
With all good wishes to you all as we struggle together through this period of great physical and emotional threat.
